Friends, ah friends, I look with shame at my last entry. The pride. The hubris. The talk of "large cheques". So long ago. So much has changed. So many blossoms have flowed under the bridge since then. I have suffered much and have learned much.
It shames me further to confess that I am no longer a fully fledged Ninja (Junior Class, Order of the Shape of the Pear). I am now a lowly Adept once more, and this only thanks to the mercy of Master Hamzo. Without his intercession, my skin would be a fur rug in the Order's library and my genitals would have been sold to aphrodisiac manufacturers.
I have brought disgrace on myself and the Order by committing the only act deemed unacceptable for a ninja. I got caught.
As for my long silence on this and other matters, let me put it this way: it's not easy being a panda in prison. Especially not a pretty one...