The Way of the Tricky Lie

When I awoke this morning I sudden feeling of dread grabbed me. This is normal given that I sleep in the same dorm as Brother Niguri. But this morning it was particularly acute.

I sat and calmed myself through meditation, in accordance with the teachings of the Ninjitsu Upon The Terrors Of The Morning, and came to realise an important truth: I think someone is trying to kill me.

Troubled, I went to see Master Hanzo in the Masters' Wing. I found him relaxing in his normal manner by decapitating mice with a mashie niblick (in accordance with the teachings of the Ninjitsu On The Way Of The Rodent In A Tricky Lie) in the refectory.

I cleared my throat and said: "Master Hanzo, do you think somebody is trying to kill me."

After a nasty slice sent entrail over the cheeseboard, he turned and said: "Adept Calgacus, we live in an ancient fortress filled with assassins. It is entirely possible somebody is trying to kill you. But let me reassure you of this one person will be trying to kill you if you interrupt my swing again."

Quite why the words left my mouth, I do not know. Perhaps it was the early hour. Perhaps it was Master Hanzo's kindly nature. Perhaps it was my fear. But I blurted out: "You call that a swing?"

Thus it was that he introduced me to the Way Of The Nine Iron In The Soft Body Parts and, later, The Way Of The Removal Of The 100 Golf Balls From The Personal Cavities.

Comments

[Golfin' Bob]

Now, would that come under winter rules or preferred lies?